Sometimes it just happens that we try to do something and it does not work. We get on a train in snickers, head to the mountains and try to do some hiking in January. It all fails, our feet freeze before long and we go back home with frostbites. But the next time we should learn the lesson. Well, leave the international scene aside, we are in Romania and this is no place where people ever admit their mistakes, so it is easy to guess they never learn from something the existence of which they deny.

In the 1970s Ceaușescu’s regime tried to promote the country based on Dracula and the seaside. They looked for the most impressive Dracula-looking, still standing castle in the country, found it in Bran, called it “Dracula’s Castle” and promoted its image everywhere. This is possibly the most successful attempt to ever promote something in the tourist industry in Romania. Why? Because most foreigners still mean Bran Castle when they mention “Dracula’s Castle”, even though that structure was started by the Teutonic Knights in 1212 AD and had little to do with Vlad the Impaler (which is said to have spent there only a couple of nights, in transit between Wallachia and Transylvania).

Then democracy came, Iliescu blamed the regime that had created himself in the first place and the prospects were glorious. Let us take things chronologically: the first to come in line and attempt to promote Romania abroad was a photo album, “Eternal and Fascinating Romania”. Now, without pondering on it for long, what does this make you think of? Does it wipe out the typical cliches featuring street children and thieves? Does it stir your interest to buy a flight ticket to this country? Well, it cost the government USD 6 million. You can figure out the results this action had by yourself, and you will not be too far from reality.

Second in line came “Romania. Simply Surprising”. It cost about USD 1.7 million and possibly is the best of the bunch. However this restricts only to the film, not even to the title. For the way they used the film, and the non-existent other actions make it all useless. Even Richard Batchelor, the head of the WTO consultancy team, mentioned the Simply Surprising thing is totally off the line and it says nothing about real Romania. But have they learnt anything from this? Wake up, John dear, stop day dreaming for it might very well give you nightmares once the sun sets.

So, “Fabulospirit” came next. Well, if the ones before were wrong, this is utopian. For “stupid” is too weak a term. Just think of this: mountains, forests, monasteries. Then a burning arrow crossing the screen. Fabulospirit, isn’t it? Take two: classical French buildings, old merchant houses. Then, all of a sudden, a lady, taller than the buildings, walking among them and sporting an all-mighty smile. Fabulospirit, ay? Take three: a beach bordered by those typical huge concrete hotels and a blue sea (so much unlike the Black Sea which is usually grey to green). Then the same lady stubbornly and smartly walking along the beach. Fabulo, isn’t spirit? This one cost about EUR 3 million.

Over? Nay. Elections came, the National Authority for Tourism turned once again in the Ministry of Tourism, with Elena Udrea as minister. After deciding to turn the country in a spa destination overnight (with basically no  appropriate infrastructure) or to expand the seaside season from March til October (with no climate for that), Mrs. Udrea decided all that Romania needed in order to turn into a tourism destination was a hymn. A tourist hymn. Auction set, this hymn won. Call me the black sheep here, but I dare say that, given the (mostly bad) exterior image the country has, this “Land of Choice” theme only emphasizes the extent to which tourism is a joke in Romania. As for the music and the enthusiasm of the singers, I shall refrain from making any comments. And then, in the end of the day, why a tune this long? Why this mixture of cheezy pop, (sort of) opera mock and panpipe that only succeeds to create chaos and transmit no clear message whatsoever? Why a tune of all means of promoting a country?

2010 edit: On July 29, 2010, the Ministry of Tourism launched in Shanghai Romania’s new brand. Actually, a mere logo. Which reads “România - explore the Carpathian garden” in mostly light green tones. The grammar error was probably on purpose: “Romania” is spelled in Romanian with the diacritic in a different colour, to emphasize it probably, while the rest is in English. But then, why that pinkish green, why the mountains in a country whose mountaineering / skiing infrastructure is next to null compared to, say, Bulgaria, Slovakia or Austria and why, yes, why yet another lousy attempt to brand something that should be created first and sold afterwards (or altogether sold to someone that knows anything about this business, hence admitting Romanian Government’s anyway obvious inability in running the tourism industry in this country), that beats any decent logic, while perfectly matching the Romanian “logic” or always attempting to define something that, well, does not exist.

2012 edit: the moment’s Minister of Tourism went on the seaside, to see the status of the works in hotels and other infrastructure there, as the season officially opens on May 1. He contented himself to note that there really is no entertainment for tourists, well, hell, prices are way higher than in nearby Bulgaria and that he himself got bored when on holidays on the Romanian seaside. Then, Mr. Cristian Petrescu, why bother get paid?

One automatically wonders who is putting together all that smart a strategy (if any). Well, as stated above, it used to be called the Ministry of Tourism. Then it was reduced (for political reasons, but it well deserved it, if you ask me) and turned into the National Authority for Tourism. Then it was part of the Ministry for Small and Average Business, Trade, Tourism and Liberal Professions. Now it is the Ministry of Tourism. Yeah. Again. You might wonder what they are doing. Let me put it this way: back in 2007, at IMEX in Frankfurt they bought a stand and arranged it so that it could host Romanian exhibitors (tour operators, airlines, incentive houses, DMCs). If one looked from the right, the stand was next to invisible, as the Czech stand next door was taller. If one looked from the left, the stand was next to invisible again, as the Russian one was way better done. At a fair where creativity was top, Romania’s stand was dull, unattractive, the only thing that was sort of personal for it was a big, red balloon marked “Romania”. But the balloon had been raised so high that it was impossible to see it from anywhere. By comparison, instead of buying big stands and arranging them blandly, Australia got this big kangaroo figure that was jumping around throughout the fair grounds. Got everyone’s attention and all certainly noticed Australia was there and kicking. That is what I call brain power.

As for Romania, this Rom Chocolate spot says more about the country than any of the above. It is short, up to the point and clear. Does it hurt anyone? Does it make one laugh? Does it stir interest? If the answer is “yes”, it is real and good. That is about it in terms of advertising. As for the Romanian Government, they still have to learn that a brand is not only about producing a film, tune or a photo album. First one needs to have something of good quality to sell and only then, if able, try to sell it.