In 2008, Transparency International ranked Romania as 69 out of 180 countries investigated in terms of corruption perception; that is between Ghana and Senegal. However this does not say much about how deep it actually goes.

During the Communist era, a șpagă (En. bribe) was the only way of getting products otherwise inaccessible: Western brands of cigarettes, perfume and other delicacies. The 1980s arrived and most everything was out of shelves, from meat to sugar or non-100% polyester clothes. So the șpagă made them all possible: pay double the price and you get it; some other times, especially towards the end of the 1980s, it was the barter that made things happen: I would teach Maths to your daughter and you would get me ham every month. As for service, one would never go to a doctor or to a public clerk without the well-known coffee bag (usually Alvorada) or pack of cigarettes (most times Kent). The bigger the problem, the higher the bribe: a bottle of Scottish whisky, some Lindt chocolate, or, if someone came from the countryside, a chicken, half a pig, a wine barrel, a couple of plum brandy bottles.

The 1990s came, Ceaușescu was shot dead and buried by the Neo-Commies, the shelves got again full of products on sale. So the old plic (En. envelope) got common once again. Whether this is about one’s going to the doctor for a routine consult (which is paid by insurance anyway), or by someone’s getting approval to build 5 floor higher a building than the district permission, it can all be accommodated by a șpagă.

I assimilate the șpagă to other aspects of Romanian day-by-day life. I get the obligation of inviting others to one’s wedding (after they invited one to their wedding) also like a șpagă. I see that gift-after-gift-after-gift thing also like a șpagă. Șpagă to the local doctor, customs officer, civil prosecutor or traffic police officer. Șpagă to the professor for a student to pass an exam and go through university like a butterfly. Șpagă to the priest, to deliver one of his / her sins. Șpagă for votes, șpagă from a provider so that we declare him winner at an auction. Șpagă to a travel agent for providing a good service. Șpagă all the way, from John Doe to Minister Fart. Welcome to Romania, home of a society where the șpagă is so important an institution that not using it has almost turned into disrespect. So please caress it. Hallelujah!

Trivia: a few years ago, I got some flu that would not go. Took the usual flu medicine and still, no good. So I wanted to go to a doctor. The system was (and still is) like this: I was supposed to go to the family doc, have a consult there, then he/she (I still don’t know him / her, and am not interested to learn that) would send me to a specialist. In practice, I was supposed to call the family doc, get an appointment, go there, then be assigned to another one, respectively get a small “gift” and a day off to wait in line, knee in front of doors and pray to be consulted. I sent them all to hell (and I hope they stay there, making love to each other), went to a private hospital, paid for a consult, got good service and needed no day off, envelope or gift.