At the first glance, Romanians are among the most communicative people on earth. Loud, inquisitive, they love debate and adore chatting for hours. Get on the subway train during the morning rush hour and before long you will learn how many persons on it are late to work and why, the weather forecast, the results of Sunday’s football match, the latest high society gossip and sex scandal, some cooking recipes and plenty of early morning complaints of various sorts. Mobile phones will ring and people will answer calls anywhere and whenever, be it on the train, bus, during a conference, driving or riding their bikes. Respect for the others, privacy, any consideration for the discussion itself, all do not matter when the phone rings. Romanians talk loudly except for when they gossip the one sitting at the desk next to them in the office. So, you will argue, what a great place, where people speak their heart out and talking is such a breeze that working with these people should be marvelously easy. Do not jump to conclusions for you will get a fist in your face anyway.

If you have ever had any expectations while communicating in any way with someone, leave them at home or simply forget you’ve had them when getting on that plane, bus or train to anywhere in Romania. You e-mail to the hotel requesting more information or a booking won’t be answered, your call will never be returned, people will often lie so as to avoid assume responsibility for anything, a “this is not possible” will be the preferred answer when someone is not certain about something and does not care investigate or ask his superiors / colleagues. Last, but not least, everyone makes and has his own rules in this country, rules he assumes everyone else is aware of, should automatically respect and understand. Such rules mustn’t have sense or logic and they are definitely not meant to make one’s life easier or one’s activity efficient. While the best sample is the honey buying story here, here you go with more samples of Romanian dumbness:

“I have not answered your email because we do not have available places for that day.”

or

“I have not answered your email because you did not indicate whether you wanted a sea view or town view room.”

or

“Now, look mister, we would go bankrupt if we faxed back confirmations for every booking request we get!” (the Capitol, a 3* centrally located Bucharest hotel that still does not use the e-mail)

or

“Why are you calling?! We have got your fax and we only call or fax you if there is something wrong. Our not contacting you means your booking is confirmed!” (the Palace of the Parliament)

Other than that, the “sorry, we cannot confirm because only our manager can confirm bookings and he is on holidays now” sounds like a piece of cake. Romanians might look confident and all potent at the first sight, armed with their rules, but dare challenge them, ask them assume responsibility and the communication flow will be banned for good.

Then, it is often not necessarily that people here are rude or not willing to answer a question, but it simply happens out of, yeah, habit. And then, when asked why they do so, they will blame anyone available (or rather not available, so that he cannot contradict them): Ceaușescu (even 20 years after his death, that is right), the cable guy, the phone company, the neighbour that has flooded their flat, the subway train mechanic. The same habit will make them not admit their being wrong, impolite or straight rude. Time management does not exist in Romania, people are late for everything and the last thing people have time for it be courteous or polite. There is no “Good morning, may I have some cheese pastry, please?”, but only a rushed “Cheese pastry!”. And then, you’ve probably guessed it, there is no “thank you”. Other than at some supermarkets and chain businesses where courtesy is imposed, staff anywhere bark a “da!” (“yes!”, but that would rather translate like “what do you want?”); be their customer, partner or mere acquaintance and ask Romanians for something and you will turn in their enemy. At the opposite end, when talking business to someone, allow at least double the time for it by chatting and caressing his ego. Straight questions are never granted straight answers in Romania (in the situation they are given an answer at all).

Why does it all happen? I would say fear comes first. People are afraid that, by being kind, answering when asked or respecting the others, they would be considered as weak, if they help someone, there could be more assistance asked for afterwards. Then, conspiracy theory supporters, Romanians fear there must be something hidden anywhere. If someone is polite to them, there must be something he wants out of them, if one asks for a confirmation for some service, he probably wants to use that in shady ways. And then, speaking loudly, answering the phone in the most awkward situations and playing the tough makes people believe they are strong and mean something for the others.Then, as time is of little relevance here, a small, 10 minute matter can turn into a full day discussion, complete with heartly arguments, shouts, lunch and 4 coffee breaks. Last, but nevertheless least, ego is top in Romania. Even when people agree on something, every one of them feels the urge to show he knows better or has a superior solution; if for nothing else, for the show. Talking to people here sometimes makes one wondering whether they are all actually such strong characters or - quite to the contrary - they are weak creatures lacking the knowledge to rely their answers on and therefore afraid of every step they make, hence the ado they create around the smallest issue. I tend to believe the latter.