Well, you have made it to Romania, so you should be familiar with it. This is as big as it gets. Actually no, bigger.

For, bro’, you see, the customer does not exist in this country (sorry, I cannot restrict this issue to Bucharest alone, for it exists everywhere in Romania). The customer is a pain, an unnecessary disturbance, an idiot that wants to buy something, cannot do this and that or breaks this and that and comes to ask for directions instead of smoothly going to hell. A few samples (of the many) might help for guidance. Welcome to Romania!

The 2011 tale: Sellers despising customers. I wanted to buy some forest honey. This particular kind of honey is not that popular in Romania and one cannot find it at local retailers, so I contacted Havasi Méz, a Transylvanian producer from Corund which also had a shop. Mail #1: I wrote asking about availability (they did not have an e-shop function to their website), price and the terms for delivery to Bucharest. They had it in stock, wrote me on the honey price, but nothing on delivery. So, there went mail #2, asking for the delivery terms. The answer was they could use the Romanian Post or a private courier, with the only note that jars could break if I chose the post. No rates again. Fair enough, mail #3, specifically asking for the courier delivery rates. They replied they didn’t know how much it cost, as that was always paid by the customer together with the products, upon delivery. A patient mail #4 followed, forgetting about rates, simply asking them to make delivery by courier and I would pay for the honey and whatever transport cost, upon delivery; they did not seem to give another option anyway. No reply. A couple of days later, mail #5 followed asking them to confirm whether they had received my last e-mail and they were going to make this delivery or not. No reply. All in all, a good week had passed since my mail #1. So, on Friday morning I wrote Honig-Genuss, an online shop dealing honey products in Mühlhausen, Germany, asking whether they also deliver to Romania and if so, of the charges. Less than 45 minutes later they replied with costs and the PayPal account; a few minutes and clicks later, the order was complete. A couple of days later, wanting to somehow make sure I was not erroneously blaming the Havasi Méz people, I wrote them to provide feed-back on their bad communication and attitude versus the fast and efficient service of the Germans. I actually wanted to make sure they had received all my emails. I ended the message making reference to the fact that people in Romania have high expectations from the others, yet next to no expectations from themselves. Their brief and nearly instant answer was a nuanced ‘that is true’. As the Latin saying goes, Q.E.D.

One might argue the Havasi Méz people did not actually want to deliver to Bucharest or wherever and that is their right; indeed, but then why initially lie they were willing to do it and then why this silence instead of a simple “no” / “not interested” answer? And in the end of the day, one cannot ignore either that, at the very same time, people in Romania complain they are poor and blame everyone but themselves for their failure. Alles Klar.

The Tech Guy: Dunno Vista, cannot help. I wanted to install an internet connection for a new Compaq system that came with the MS Vista included. Paid for the service at RDS. D Day arrived and the Cable Guy knocked on the door. Brought in his wires, unevenly stapled the wall to fix them, then sat down and wanted to do the settings (which were his job). Surprise: “Oups, you’ve got the Vista... I don’t know how to fix the settings on Vista... Sorry.” Yeah, with such a “plentitude” of OS today (let us count: less and less 98 or 2000, then XP, Vista, Linux, OSX and that would be about it), the poor freak did not know how to fix his stuff on Vista. This is the Techie Guy. The 2009 Upgrade.

I am busy, can’t you see?! I bought a bike. Then I needed to change something on it. So it felt natural to call a service provider and see whether they had what I needed, as well as the time to put it on and do some other maintenance work. They had and they would. So I went there with the bike, we agreed on a term and on the money. I was to come back the following day in the morning and pick the bike. I told them I would come back in the evening, after work. That was even better, they said. I went there as agreed. They had not even touched the bike from where I had put it. “We are busy, can’t you see?”. The guy was eating a sandwich. I took the bike, came home and found some demos on a website. Did the job myself. The next time I need parts for the bike, I shall order them at Bicycle Parts and learn to put them on myself.

The Inferiority Syndrome. I was organizing a conference at a top end hotel in town. The members of the group were coming from all over Europe. Different people, different habits and a lot of information to get from all of them. So the Brussels lady in charge of collecting all info had a hard life. A day before it all started, we met the hotel event manager to review everything. There were a few additions to the number of people we had initially foreseen. The conference hall was large enough, they had enough chairs and I thought that the coffee break was not an issue with a day’s notice. Well, hell, no, for, after the Brussels lady went away, the event manager was keen to share with me her vision of the world: “Alex, you know, these people see us as slaves, we must always cover their mistakes and ignorance”. No, dear pumpkin pie, they are the ones paying your wage, so that you can buy those high heel shoes and fancy dress.

The boots do not fit? Your problem! I wanted to buy some Meindl winter boots. A bit shocked they have a sales rep in Romania, I visited the Sport Virus shop. Was told they would not import the Air Revolution 9.0 boots unless ordered and paid before. I agreed and was willing to pay the price. But thought to make it clear: what happens if, as now I test a summer (i.e. flexible sole) boot to get my size, when you bring the winter boots I order, they do not fit? “Sorry, your problem”. Indeed. Then why shouldn’t I order at Globetrotter in the first place? Well, I did. And for some reason I keep on ordering there. Why? They call or e-mail every time there is a problem, they deliver from Hamburg to Bucharest in an ‘irritatingly’ constant one week term, their website is up-to-date German style and they act professionally. It is called good service.

The Unknowledgeable Guru. A few years back, not knowing much about hardware, but knowing pretty well what I needed from a PC (i.e. yuck!), I went to one of the big wigs in town (i.e. UltraPro, now thankfully extinct). Asked for assistance with building a personalized unit, I was shown to John Doe which sat at this big desk, a sort of local Guru Rinpoche (in one of his eight representations anyway). I told him what I needed the machine to do, he started ticking things, then had the bill printed; the computer would be ready in 2 days. Well, it was ready a week later. It worked fine, the pieces were doing their job and I was happy. Every time I turned it on, only for the first 10 minutes that is. For afterwards the system used to stop or restart by itself. Box in my hands, I went straight to the Glorious Service (TM). Three days later (for “we are busy!”), the answer came: “there is nothing wrong with the system, you have to pay EUR 10 for asking for service with no reason”. Asking them whether they kept it running for at least 10 minutes, they said (what else but) they had done so. Back home, the same problem. Of a (relatively) patient nature, I went back to the service. Twice (as the system was sealed off and I could not use another service provider without losing all otherwise useless UltraPro guarantee). Both times the story repeated, they could not care less. One sunny day, instead of going back to Mr. Spinach Brains, I installed everything but one piece (i.e. the video card, the sound card, the tuner a.o.) at a time, then tested whether it worked for more than 10 minutes. Found the problem: the sound card was not compatible with the main board. Happy (but naive), I got on a cab and went to the service guy. Told him the problem. “This is not possible, the card works fine”. Yes, it did, but not together with the rest of the machine which was not put together by me, but by them. After a little scandal (required by law in such situations in Romania), the answer was changed to: “OK, you are right, but I have nothing to replace this card with at the same price”. Of course not, but more expensive. Once the issue was solved (well, sort of), I went home. Before even getting home, I tore off the UltraPro warranty seal. For it was useless. Used the machine for a couple of years, experienced other problems but never went back to that Bleak House. Then bought a machine which was put together anywhere in this world but in Romania. Made sure the box had not been opened after crossing the border. Am happy now.

Exceptions to the above are few, but I have to list them, just to prove the losers above that, provided there is a will, there always is a way: www.mmsport.ro, www.noumax.ro, www.bbclinic.ro, www.rossetya.ro, www.f64.ro, www.carturesti.ro, www.orbea.ro. The list can (and should) continue.